TAPPING MY OWN PHONE
by Ron Whitehead


I'm going straight bought myself a flat top
haircut so stiff I can carry a tray of martinis


waiting on people someone to open up her
purse and give me a tip cause I don't have


a clue anymore as to what's going on but
I do know that I'm one step ahead tapping


my own phone to hear myself talking with
people who used to be my friends listening


so I can correct myself before they do and
I've got a surveillance camera in my abandoned


car across the street watching myself replaying
the tape so I can see if I'm acting funny before


they catch me doing something I shouldn't
like yesterday I spotted myself walking too


fast and I heard myself talking too loud yes
I've got the deep fear paranoia anxiety despair


and suicide blues but I'm making sure I don't
do nothing else wrong cause I done screwed


up so many times I cornered myself into a
backstreet deadend alley of paranoia and every


time I hear an airplane or helicopter or car
door slam I know The Secret Service the FBI


and the IRS Swat Teams have finally arrived
cause I published a poem by the President of


The United States of America without his
fully conscious permission and I'm sure I


haven't paid enough taxes cause I've got no
income yet somehow I keep on doing things


like eating every once in a while and paying
a light bill or two but how do I do it they're


gonna ask what's the source of your income
and how come you don't come to see us


anymore so yes I've become a little jumpy
but I'm staying one step ahead tapping my


own phone videotaping my every move
watching myself day and night replaying


the tapes cause I got a bad bad bad case
of the deep fear paranoia anxiety despair


and suicide blues



copyright © 1995 & 2009 Ron Whitehead